Llew's Reviews

I must have read a review on this title, because I had special ordered it. However, when it came in I couldn’t recall the why or wherefore. I started reading it, and was like OH! I love this kind of book – it must have a murder twist like Secret History or The Basic Eight. I didn’t want to ruin whatever the edge was so I refused to even read the back cover or the dust jacket flap. I just scooted to the edge of my seat and focused on the book.

The first half was enthralling. A great set up with character development so intense I felt part of the main character. Not a skeevy part like a soiled sock as I would in a boy teen novel, but a nice part like a swatch with one of those little protectors on it so the face doesn’t get scratched up.

Maybe it would have been different if I hadn’t been so sure there would be some grizzly fantastic twist. As it was though, the second half was flat.

There was no murdering of the obnoxious broke preppy boy who tortured the incest twins.
There was no bludgeoning with a croquet mallet and a sharp tongue.
There was NO NOTHING.

The horrible situation the main character had to get out of was one of embarassment in front of her compatriots, but it happened one week before she graduated. NOTHING. The only violence at all was the force with which I threw the book upon finishing it.

“Long life wore away everything that was not essential. Some old men finished their lives as little more than the sum total of their memories, others as nothing a pair of grasping pincers, or a set of bitter axioms proven. It would please him well enough to amount to no more in the end than a single great organ of detection, reaching into blankness for a clue.” — Final Solution, page 83

Things I Liked About The Final Solution:
* It centers around a parrot. (Although, sadly, there are no pirates involved.)
* The word “cuckoldry” is used, and used IN PASSING. How fantastic is that?
* One of the character’s suffers from “gephyrophobia” which is the morbid fear of crossing bridges.

Things I Didn’t Like About The Final Solution:
* The cover design.
* The illustrations. It was as if they were mocking the story, and that’s just not my inner schizophrenic speaking either.

I’m usually either thinking about the last book I read, the last movie I saw, or the last boy I kissed. Since the first item of that list was leaving quite the sour taste, I decided it was time to move on with a quick novel that would put my bad memories to rest. (This reminds me of something I read once about “refreshing one’s palate” by kissing a new boy as soon as possible after a breakup.) I chose Final Solution because I’ve heard so many favorable things about Chabon’s writing style. They were all well warranted. Although the plot of this one wasn’t anything to rave about, I quite loved Chabon’s way with words (hubba hubba) so hopefully this shall be the first of many of his books.

“The reading of Dawn is a strain upon many parts, but the worst wear and tear fall on the forearms. After holding the massive volume for the half-day necessary to its perusal (well, look at that, would you? “massive volume” and “perusal,” one right after the other! You see how contagious Mr. D’s manner is?), my arms ached with a slow, mean persistence beyond the services of aspirin or of liniment. I must file this distress, I suppose under the head of ‘Occupational Diseases….” Dorothy Parker’s Review of Theodore Dreiser’s Dawn

My favorite Theodore Dreiser novel (which as the Parker quote would indicate that isn’t saying much) is An American Tragedy which is based on the true story of Grace Brown who was found dead in Big Moose Lake in the Adirondack Mountains in 1906. The boat she had been in with her companion, who rented the boat under the name of Carl Graham, had capsized. It was thought that Graham had also drowned until they searched the rooms of the hotel they were staying at and found letters which indicated that Grace was pregnant with Graham’s (real name Chester Gillette)child, neither of which Graham wanted. Thus, he had plotted to kill her with her unborn child so he could scamper away to continue sewing his wild oats. Only, because of the letters, he was caught and convicted. Reaping a whirlwind indeed.

This plot is set as the backdrop in Donnelly’s “A Northern Light” by having Grace Brown give the letters to Mattie (the main character) to burn. Several of Brown’s letters are used throughout the novel and tie in with Mattie’s story of being the eldest girl in a large struggling family who has just lost their mother. This is one of those books where I just hate to talk about the plot or anything else in fear that I will make it seem any less than it is. It really is a fantastically told story and one I wish I had read before Christmas so I could have hand sold it more.

Plus, the girl on the cover makes me weak in the knees.

Llew’s Reviews

The Carnivorous Carnival: Book the Ninth of A Series of Unfortunate Events

by Lemony Snicket

Whoot! This is my favorite one thus far -so much that I wish people could read this one first as an introduction to the series. As always, it was supremely witty.

My favorite passage: “Besides getting several paper cuts in the same day or receiving the news that someone in your family has betrayed you to your enemies, one of the most unpleasant experiences in life is a job interview. It is very nerve-wracking to explain to someone all the things you can do in the hopes that they will pay you to do them. I once had a very difficult job interview in which I had not only to explain that I could hit an olive with a bow and arrow, memorize up to three pages of poetry, and determine if there was poison mixed into cheese fondue without tasting it, but I had to deomonstrate all these things as well. In most cases, the best strategy for a job interview is to be fairly honest, because the worst thing that can happen is that you won’t get the job and will spend the rest of your life foraging for food in the wilderness and seeking shelter underneath a tree or the awning of a bowling alley that has gone out of business…”